The rainy US Open just wrapped up and the golf was splendid. I was really pulling for Phil Mickelson, he was obviously the sentimental favorite and for obvious reason. It was a record fifth time he finished 2nd at the US Open, I guess that doesn’t make him feel better. When the second place check clears in his bank account, he may feel a little bit okay about it. Seeing David Duval back in action was pretty cool too. The one thing I really hated about him was those stupid Oakley sunglasses he used to wear. The ones redneck hicks on beaches everywhere were wearing. He looked like an idiot in those things, but everyone did.

I was glad to see him lose those bad boys.

I was watching Phil play and he and I have a few things in common; we are both left handed and both built a little frumpy. (Actually I am a lot frumpy, but Phil is catching up). I noticed Phil sporting a pair of pin striped pants as if he was playing for the Yankees. I know they say stripes are thinning, but for Phil they definitely were not. He didn’t look so hot. Then there is John Daly. He was at that golf tournament a few weeks back and he wore these plaid pants that were about 14 different bright (and I mean bright) colors. It looked like he woke up in the morning and threw up the 14 pairs of pants he ate the night before and sewed them back together.

He looked horrible.

All these young kids in golf seem to be wearing bright, bright colors as well. It’s as if they are playing a game against one another to see who can dress the most outlandish. “Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?”If I showed up one day to a golf outing wearing a fluorescent green Nike shirt and pleated white pants with a crease in them, my friends would throw mud on me. I would be clean for about 15 seconds. My buddy Brian would squirt ketchup on my pants or something. (I actually have white pants at home that I have never worn, strictly for this reason.)

These guys get away with it, because you always could dress crazy in golf. Remember the hat that Judge Smails wore? That was in the 1980’s and it would be a huge hit on the PGA tour today. I think that is the reason that Tiger Woods is head and shoulders above the rest of the field. I have never seen him not dressed conservatively. The craziest he dresses is in a red Nike shirt, and that is when he is all business on Sundays. And he is going up against 87 people wearing plaid pants, knickers, stripped pants and pink shirts. They don’t stand a chance, but hey, at least they look good on television. On a completely separate note: The USA soccer team pulled off an amazing feat this past weekend. They are in the midst of playing in the FIFA Confederation Cup and they got put in a group with Brazil, Italy and Egypt. They promptly got smoked by Brazil and Italy. They started out 0-2 and all looked lost. The USA has not done well on the world stage lately.

So on Sunday they need the impossible to happen, they need to beat Egypt by 3 or more goals, and they need Italy to lose by 3 or more goals. If that happens they would advance to the semifinals. Well they beat Egypt 3-0 and Brazil smoked Italy 3-0. They wound up advancing to the semifinals by winning the tie breaker. They scored more goals than Italy, even though Italy killed them head to head. I have one question about all of this: Who care?

Walt Haley

Find More Wedding Attire Articles